Throughout history, society has romanticized the idea of “the one”—a single soulmate with whom one spends an entire lifetime. But is this ideal of lifelong monogamy truly natural, or is it a cultural invention? Increasing evidence from anthropology, evolutionary biology, psychology, and even modern relationship patterns suggests that polyamory—the practice of engaging in multiple romantic or sexual relationships with consent—is not only natural but deeply ingrained in human biology and social evolution.
In this article, we will explore 7 solid, science-backed reasons why polyamory is a natural human inclination. From ancestral mating patterns to current sexual behavior statistics, the evidence is too strong to ignore.
1. Polyamory Is Rooted in Human Evolutionary Biology
Evolutionarily speaking, humans are not strictly monogamous. We share 98% of our DNA with chimpanzees and bonobos—two species that practice promiscuous mating systems. Our closest relatives live in communities where sexual activity is not limited to one partner and serves social, emotional, and reproductive purposes.
Human beings evolved in tribal settings where access to multiple partners improved survival odds by:
Increasing genetic diversity
Strengthening social bonds
Ensuring care from multiple adults for offspring
This biological heritage suggests that polyamory is not an anomaly—it’s an evolutionary strategy.
2. Modern Sexual Behavior Reflects Polyamorous Tendencies
Data from large-scale sexual behavior studies repeatedly show that human beings are not monogamous by default.
A 2016 study by the Kinsey Institute found that 20% of Americans have tried consensual non-monogamy (CNM) at some point.
Research published in the Journal of Sex Research found that the average number of sexual partners over a lifetime is 7 for women and around 10 for men—far more than one.
These numbers reflect a simple truth: most people explore multiple relationships across their lifetime, whether emotionally, romantically, or sexually. Even when society demands monogamy, behavior often diverges.
3. Infidelity Rates Undermine the Myth of Lifelong Monogamy
One of the strongest arguments for the naturalness of polyamory comes from the prevalence of cheating in supposedly monogamous relationships.
Studies estimate that 15–25% of married people cheat at least once during their marriage.
According to research from the General Social Survey (GSS), over 22% of men and 14% of women have had sex outside of marriage.
If monogamy were truly “natural,” we wouldn’t see such widespread infidelity. Cheating is often not about betrayal, but about unmet needs and suppressed desires—needs that polyamory allows people to explore ethically and openly.
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4. Polyamory Supports Diverse Emotional and Physical Needs
Humans are complex, with evolving emotional, intellectual, and sexual needs that no single person can fulfill at all times.
Polyamory embraces this truth by allowing:
Multiple sources of emotional support
Varied sexual experiences
Honest communication about boundaries and desires
Medical and psychological experts increasingly acknowledge the benefits of consensual non-monogamy for certain individuals. A 2017 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that people in polyamorous relationships reported higher levels of personal growth, autonomy, and communication skills compared to monogamous individuals.
5. The Myth of “The One” Is a Modern Construct
The concept of finding “the one” soulmate is a relatively recent invention, largely popularized by Western romantic ideals from the 18th and 19th centuries. Historically, most marriages were not even based on love but on economic necessity, alliance-building, and reproduction.
Before modern societal norms solidified the concept of monogamy:
Ancient Greeks embraced various types of love (eros, agape, philia) with different partners.
Many indigenous cultures across Africa, South America, and Asia practiced polyamory or communal parenting systems.
The belief that we are supposed to love just one person forever is more cultural than biological—and cultures can evolve.
6. Real-Life Examples Across Cultures and Eras
Even in modern times, polyamory has played a role in the lives of influential people and communities:
Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre maintained a lifelong open relationship while contributing to existentialist thought.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have publicly discussed their exploration of non-monogamy.
The Mosuo people of China, often dubbed the “Kingdom of Women,” traditionally practiced a form of walking marriage where women could choose multiple lovers without formal marriage.
These examples highlight how polyamory has existed—quietly or openly—in many societies and personal lives, proving its natural resonance.
7. Science Says Love and Sex Are Separate Processes
Neuroscience has revealed that romantic love and sexual desire activate different areas of the brain. This explains why people can be deeply in love with one partner while still feeling sexually attracted to others.
Key findings:
Romantic love activates brain areas associated with reward and bonding (like dopamine circuits).
Sexual arousal triggers primal reward systems linked to novelty and pleasure (often unrelated to emotional attachment).
This split between love and lust is not a flaw—it’s a feature of human psychology. Polyamory provides a framework where both elements can coexist without guilt or betrayal.
Frequently Asked Questions About Polyamory
How Many Sexual Partners Do People Have in Their Lifetime?
On average:
Men report 8–10 lifetime sexual partners.
Women report 6–8 lifetime sexual partners.
These numbers vary by country, age, and social norms. In many Western countries, about 10–15% of people report more than 15 lifetime sexual partners.
Is Polyamory Just an Excuse for Cheating?
Not at all. In polyamory, all partners are informed, consenting, and often actively involved in setting boundaries. Cheating involves deceit; polyamory relies on transparency.
Can Polyamorous Relationships Be Long-Term?
Yes. Many polyamorous families raise children together, build lasting partnerships, and practice commitment—just not exclusivity.
A Natural Model for a Complex Species
In a world where individuality, freedom, and emotional honesty are increasingly valued, polyamory offers an ethical alternative to monogamy that aligns with human nature. From biological impulses to real-life relationships, the evidence is clear: we are not wired for rigid exclusivity.
Rather than suppressing our natural inclinations, maybe it’s time to evolve socially—just as we’ve evolved biologically.
Polyamory isn’t about being promiscuous. It’s about being honest, aware, and open to the full range of human connection.